Nouria Newman on Fear
On March 18, 2021 the Lower Columbia Canoe Club hosted a Take Out Talk with Nouria Newman on a wide range of topics, including gender dynamics in paddlesports, the concept of fear and how to deconstruct it when necessary, and what it feels like when you land at the bottom of a 100 foot waterfall for the first time.
Photo credits above and below: Red Bull content pool. Thumbnail image by Erik Boomer.
After nearly two hours of discussion we barely scratched the surface. Here’s a short excerpt from the Q&A during the Lower Columba Canoe Club’s recent Take Out Talk with Nouria Newman.
Q: LCCC Member Tammie B
I started kayaking when I was 57 years old. What advice can you give about the mental game? I’m still getting my roll in currents, and getting comfortable in class 2-3. But my mental game hinders my ability to move forward.
A: Nouria Newman
There is no way to avoid being scared kayaking. You can start at five years old or you can start at 57 years old and it is going to be the same. You’re going to capsize. You’re going to swim. The water is going to be cold. It’s scary to be upside down stuck in a kayak. There is no way around it when you start.
I think it is just a matter of trying to rationalize your fear, and also making sure you go step by step. Maybe you are about to try a ferry, and you are really scared because you think maybe you are going to flip. In fact, it’s pretty likely that you are going to flip because perhaps you’ve never tried a ferry that was as hard before.
But you have to break down your fear. You have to say ‘OK, what happens if I flip? Is it shallow? No. OK, it’s not shallow. Do I have a lot of people to help me with safety? Yes. Is there a big rapid below? No.’ At that point you have to tell yourself, and understand, that there is no reason to be scared. You have to say, ‘OK, worst case scenario is that I swim, and I can try a few rolls because I know I have time and support.’
Break it down and deconstruct it. And don’t do things beyond what you can do. It’s hard. It’s really hard. When you are trying to get better, you have to play with the edge of your abilities and this limit. You have to push yourself. But you don’t want to push yourself too hard into something where you are most likely going to crash, but maybe if you are really lucky you’ll make it. No. It still has to be a good balance. You want to be able to say, ‘It is most likely that I am going to make it. I should make it. I’m pretty confident. I know I can do this.’
But even then, sometimes you are going to crash because it is impossible to not crash. And it’s impossible to not have bad lines. The same way it’s not possible to always be great at your job or always cook delicious food. Sometimes you just mess it up and it burns. Kayaking is the same.
Oftentimes the problem is that people don’t show you when they mess up, especially now when we live in this crazy world with a constant flow of information and everyone posting on social media …. It seems like they never crash. And it can be rather depressing and demoralizing if you are comparing yourself to that. You’re thinking, ‘How can they be that good?’ You have to remember, ‘Oh right, they just aren’t posting their crashes. They really aren’t any better than everyone else.’
I think fear is good. Secretly we love being scared. It’s like kids playing hide and seek. They’ll be really scared one moment and laughing the next. There is a part of fear that is healthy and good. It’s the part that keeps you safe and also the one that helps you want to try new things. It’s really important to embrace that kind of fear. But the irrational fear that blocks you? Deconstruct that one and put it away. It will always come back of course. It’s a fluid process. But look at it for what it is. Deconstruct it when you can.
Photo credit: Graeme Murray